Teens in Crisis
It isn’t easy being a teenager nowadays. Often teenagers find themselves in situations that are tough for them to handle on their own. That is where you, as a parent, comes in. It is your job (and sometimes your misfortune) to help them through the crisis they are going through. To best handle the situation, try following these guidelines:
1. Above all, your teen needs to know that you still love and support them whatever is happening in their lives. He especially needs your support when he is dealing with issues like saying ‘no’ to drugs and alcohol, sex or petty theft. Your teen is sometimes in conflict as to whether he should decide on one path over another and he may have fears of losing friends over the issue. Your love and support at home could be the deciding factor for him.
2. Make sure your teenager is aware that you know he is feeling anxious, angry or scared. It will make him more willing to come to talk to you if he already realizes you know something in his life is not right.
3. Be approachable and always ask questions. Your child needs to know that you take an interest is what is going on in his life. It will encourage him to talk to you about his views, not only the issue at hand, but about other things in his life.
4. When your teen finally does decide to discuss his problem with you, don’t interrupt or make accusations when he is speaking. You need to listen. And listen carefully—there may be more behind what he doesn’t say then what he is telling you.
5. As parents, always present a united front, especially on major issues. Your child doesn’t need to hear conflicting points of view to get him more confused. If you and your spouse disagree on the issue, discuss it privately away from your teen before giving your response.
6. Try to maintain normal routines and expectations away from the crisis issue. Your teen needs to know that the crisis will not dictate and change everything in his life. Normal routine will give him a better chance to be well grounded away from the crisis.
7. Don’t vent your own anxieties and concerns onto your child. If the crisis you are all going through affects your home finances or relationships, or creates marital stress, find another way to relieve your own stress. Look for someone (perhaps even a professional) to talk to.
8. Do all the things necessary to help your child out of their problem, even if it involves seeking legal, medical or other resources. Don’t let embarrassment of the situation get in the way. This is the time to help your child and forget about your own possible discomfort.
9. Make your child responsible for his actions. If money is involved, make him pay the price, even if it involves him getting a temporary job. If you have to take time off work, give him a temporary drop in his allowance to make up for your lost income.
10. After the crisis has been resolved, then it is time for you all to move on. Do not continually replay the situation. Let the crisis end and be forgotten. Everyone deserves a second chance.
