Teen Inspiration | Parenting Teens Blog

December 8, 2008

The distressing signs that calls for help

Filed under: behavior problems,help for parents,interventions,Parent Support Groups,parenting teens,teen behaviors,Teen Health,Teen Inspiration,teen safety,Uncategorized — admin @ 11:26 am

Recurrent depression, cribbing, lamenting
Adolescents might illustrate their invasive grief by dressing up in black outfits, scripting poems with gloomy messages and themes, or having an obsession with tunes which has sad themes. They possibly will sob for no obvious cause.

Despair
Young adults possibly will feel that there is no meaning to existence and it’s not worth living or important to sustain their looks or cleanliness. They might suppose so as to an unhelpful situation will by no means alter and live cynical concerning their outlook in life and future.

Less attention in favorite past times and hobbies:
Adolescents may turn out to be indifferent and loose interest in partying, clubs, games, and additional past times they once happened to enjoy. Nothing seems to interest a troubled teenager.
Constant dullness
Lack of inspiration, enthusiasm and less liveliness is noticed by irregular attendance in school. The child becomes very dull and depressed.

Communal separation, introvert
Teenagers may shun family and friends. Teens who loved spending time with friends will stay in isolation. Teenagers may not share their feelings with anyone thinking that no one cares about them and they are all alone in the world. This will further add to their worries leading to depression.

Low self-worth
Teens may feel like they are failures in life and this will have a negative impact on their self esteem and self worth.

Intense fear of failure
Thinking that they are not worth anything in life and they are failures will lead to further depression.

Amplified bad temper, annoyance, or aggression
Unhappy adolescents are often bad-tempered, leading to misbehaving with family.

Complexity with relations
Teenagers may suddenly stop calling friends and relatives. Stay in isolation.

Recurrent complaints of body pain and nervousness
Teenagers may complain of body pain, menstrual problems and bouts of nervousness leading to depression.

Less absorption
Teenagers may have a problem in concentrating in studies, following a television program or following a conversation.

Efforts of running away from home
Running away is a major sign of depression and it is a cry for assistance.
Consuming alcohol and drugs
Depressed teens will consume drugs and alcohol to feel better.

Self-Destruction
Adolescents who have complexity in discussing about their thoughts possibly will demonstrate their disturbing anxiety, bodily distress, arousing pain, and low self-worth with self-destructible behavior.

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December 4, 2008

How would you deal with a troubled teen?

Filed under: abuse,attachment disorder,behavior problems,teen behaviors,Teen Help,Teen Inspiration — admin @ 11:28 pm

Remember the old adage ‘Actions speak louder than words’? Well, it is perfectly applicable in this context. While parenting teens, the parent need to effectively monitor their influence or impact that has a direct correlation with their child.

Children always take cue for their behavior from what they actually see. We have a common habit of instructing our children to do something while following a different set of rules ourselves. And then if you blurt that ‘do as I say and not what I do’, it will have a negligible impact. If you promote such a practice, one day you shall surely get to hear something of this sort, ‘what is wrong if I smoke pot, my parents get stoned on alcohol every night’!

While dealing with a troubled teen, the parents need to supervise as they guide. When you find your teen misbehaving in spite of the responsibilities and the privileges that you have provided them with, you ought to understand that are unconsciously seeking directives to apprehend the limitations of their limitations and behavior. It is here that you are required to assure them with moderate and selective guidance. It is a delicate situation and your reasonable attitude will prevent an unfortunate breakdown of communication.

A troubled teen is already confused. So do not screw up the situation further by being ambivalent or partially expressive. Spell out through words and action regarding what is exactly expected of them. Encourage and appreciate their participation in the family’s decision making. This will help them in learning to realize and welcome responsibility and the necessity of accountability.

At the same time you are also required not to intrude your teen’s individuality and independence. Do not enforce your ideas, rather adopt the position of a watchful friendly bystander, who is always ready to offer help and advice but when required.
Another important aspect that one ought to remember while parenting that one should never over-react.

Parents often have this preconceived notion that their child’s adolescent period is an arduous struggle. They seem to brace up for an onslaught. This sort of attitude takes the ease out of the environment. A cool and calm attitude will not only make your child comfortable but also help you to assess their behavior with a more rational outlook. It will reduce the tendency of the parents to self-assert and draw effective trust and confidence from the teenager. This will of course ease up communication and a healthy parent-child relationship.

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November 28, 2008

Where does parenting go wrong in the downtrodden section of the society?

Filed under: behavior problems,parenting teens,teen behaviors,Teen Health,Teen Help,Teen Inspiration,teen safety — admin @ 2:28 am

Being a parent of a teenager is no easy task. Things go awry as you end up screwed with wrong results in your hand. You are left perplexed because you always intended to do the right thing!

Well, parenting teens is not that compound a task. An obvious and commonsensical approach will solve your problem. It has been observed that the section of the society that is lesser privileged adopts the authoritarian style. They tend to demand rather than compromise. They seldom believe in open or extensive communication and their display of affection is consciously kept to the minimum. It is basically a clear reflection of the interpersonal realities that get ingrained in the attitude of the parents. When they deal with their children, they apprehend them first as subordinates and then the actual relationship. The resultant behavior reflects the style of a social worker, a shift supervisor or a land lord. This parenting style is difficult to change since a shift in the environment is improbable.

While parenting teens, this controlling environment directs the children towards seeking reliance from others. As the adolescent mind naturally begins to hate this intrusive authority, striking a comfortable note with their parents does not happen to be much of a choice. They are in constant search of direction and limits on one hand and on the other they harbour this uncontrollable desire to break the shackles of limitations.

This leads to rebellion and external controlling factors get imposed on the tender minds. These controlling factors are in natural alignment with the respective temperament of the teenager. They can be gang leaders, drug dealers or sexual partners. This association provides them a sense of power that counters their parents’ authority. In such a situation, they naturally fail to develop their skills or attain positive self-direction.

Now what happens if the style of parenting teens happens to change radically? Well, then it becomes a dangerous proposition. This is because the change is a deviation from the parenting norm of the environment. When the authoritarian parents evolve as inconsistent ones, they create confusion of expectations. The teens are not able to assess the change logically and this resultant set of confused expectations enhances the already prevalent misbehavior.

This sudden shift towards the democratic focus on learning from natural consequences comes as a hard hitting on the adolescent mind. They fail to make well-informed decisions. The natural consequences that follow are substance abuse, teenage pregnancy and a rise in the drop-out rates.

But if the parenting teen style happens to be where the parents help the children to operate within the limitations of the society providing them with structure and example, the teens would be a lot relieved from self-judgment and the resulting chaos.

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November 26, 2008

PARENTING TIPS TO IMPROVE VERBAL INTERACTION WITH KIDS

Filed under: behavior problems,Parent Support Groups,parenting teens,teen behaviors,Teen Health,Teen Help,Teen Inspiration,teen safety,Uncategorized — admin @ 11:38 pm

To assist parents increase the level, and improve the quality, of their verbal interactions with their children, here are a few suggestions.

• Keep a paper and a pencil handy and make notes of the things you hear your children talking about or expressing interest in. When you hear them discussing to their friends or to one another, make note of the things they spoke about. The topics they bring up on their own and spend time talking about provide you with the best clues available about what is of interest to them.

• Talk to your children in a very natural way. Make sure it doesn’t come across as a formal discussion.
• Don’t try to be too “hip” as you talk to children. Avoid the use of terms and language the kids use. Use terms that are most familiar to you and the most characteristic of you, but which the kids understand. Kids don’t like it when their parents try to talk like kids.

• Watch for signs that tell you you’ve talked long enough. Ordinarily, conversations with children about “just things” don’t usually last very long. For that matter, kids don’t typically spend very long talking with their friends about such things. They bounce around from topic to topic, and thing to thing, never spending much time on anything or going into much depth

• Keep the conversation dignified. Avoid gossip, profanity, off-color jokes, or turns-of-phrase that compromise your adult level of dignity and civility. Remain a cut above “just one of the guys.” Children want their parents to have class. They want their parents to be someone to look up to. The quality of your conversations with them can go a long way in establishing that image of you in your children’s eyes. An occasional, appropriate joke is a very good thing. While the family is gathered around the dinner table is a wonderful time to share a good joke and bring a little humor into the family.

• Avoid ethnic jokes or any kind of joke or story that puts another person or another people down or that evokes humor at the expense of someone else. Maintain your dignity as an adult by showing respect for other cultures. Children really appreciate that.

• Regarding jokes, appropriate, clean humor is a characteristic of low-risk families. In such families there is a lot of smiling, laughing and lots of happy times. Come to the dinner table every night with a couple of good jokes.
Children who learn good verbal skills are more likely to also have good social skills.

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November 25, 2008

Characteristics parents should possess to promote personal happiness to build endurance and eliminate stress

Filed under: behavior problems,Parent Support Groups,teen behaviors,Teen Depression,Teen Health,Teen Help,Teen Inspiration,teen safety,Uncategorized — admin @ 11:50 pm

Following are characteristics we as parents should possess to eliminate stress, build physical and emotional endurance, and promote personal happiness:

1. Predictable in life style – Persons who enclose themselves with argument and who struggle for alternative life styles be inclined to experience less rewarding lives, characterized by grief.

2. Less thoughtful – Contented adults are likely not to be quite as liable to spend huge quantities of their time focused upon themselves, how they feel, what they are thinking. Etc.

3. Physically energetic – Exercise is a miracle that cures all kinds of problems – including stress.

4. Capability to share burdens – There is a real value in selectively sharing the problems we face with people who are truly trustworthy and caring.

5. Information of one’s restrictions – If a problem is beyond your limits, confess it and accept that there is only so much that you can do. This often frees you to find solutions which would otherwise be hidden.

6. Self-esteem – You are extraordinary and special. Treat yourself that way. Eat properly, set yourself a regular routine for sleep, dress upbeat, groom well, etc. It does wonders in boosting up your self confidence and self esteem.

7. Relaxation – People under stress tend to avoid relaxing. Relaxing yourself will help eliminate stress.

8. Involvement – One way to deal with stress is to focus your attention on other people. Get involved in the lives of others. Help your neighbor in some way. Join a service club. Volunteer to be a fund raiser. Do it! Serve others.

9. Organization – Make lists of what you need to do, and then check them off one by one. Lists give order and make complex tasks appear possible. Lists give hope and reduce tension.

10. Ability to be wrong – Being right all the time is impossible. Learn to do your best and accept that you will fall flat on your face from time to time. Just get up, smile, laugh at yourself, and move on.

11. Sense of humor – Read the funny papers, the jokes in magazines, etc. Interact with joyful people and learn to laugh with them. Laughter is wonderful medicine.

12. Ability to express emotion – If you are sad shed a few tears. Cry and then get back to the business of living. Laugh a lot, particularly at yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

13. Getting away – It is always well to take time-outs. Find a peaceful place and go there for nothing else but to get away and forget the troubles of the day. Go fishing, shopping, etc

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