Regardless of all your efforts toward keeping your teenager drug free, one day you might suspect that your child is consuming drugs or alcohol. Perhaps you have found bottles, cans, pipes in the room or car. Or you over heard a conversation not meant for you. Parents are the most significant authority in a teen’s verdict about drug use. Parents can make a big difference. If you suspect that your child is consuming drugs, actions should be taken immediately.

Drug and alcohol use by teens is not an issue to be taken carelessly and calmly. There may be numerous reasons why an adolescent might take drugs or alcohol. Some may be just bored and take it up to experiment, while others do it for acceptance by their peers. Teenagers who are introverted, lonesome and require self-confidence often discover that drugs and alcohol change them and make their life happening. Some teenagers feel that taking in drugs and alcohol is a good option to get rid of family problems or to ease tension of performing well academically and otherwise.

Parents should bring up their child with good values. Examples should be set at home by the parents by not drinking excessively or smoking. Non-alcoholic beverages should be served at parties along with alcohol. Parents should discourage their children from taking sips from their drinks.

When you are suspecting that your child is drinking or smoking, you should get to the root of the problem. Sit with your child and talk to them. Take up the conversation when you have the time and you are calm. Keep an open mind when you discuss such issues with your child. When we adopt an open attitude, the lines of communication are also kept open. Hence your child will not hesitate to talk to you or take your advice. Try not to be critical and harsh. It won’t help.  Be ready for your teen to deny using drugs, if he/she is addicted.  They will try to change the topic when addressed to. Don’t get angry or accuse the child of being bad or an embarrassment to the family. If your child develops severe addiction, parents should be prepared for defiance, disagreement, rejection and unreasonable actions. Inquire about professional assistance.

As a parent your actions matter the most. Set clear rules in your family regarding drug and alcohol use. Tell your child in the family drinking and smoking is not allowed. Adolescence is a phase of challenge for youngsters. Despite the want of spreading their wings, they have an earnest desire for their parent’s guidance. However they would by no means confess it.
 

Adolescents are at high risk for such behaviors as drug or alcohol abuse, pregnancy, brutality, cruelty, dejection, depression or suicide. One of the difficulties parents face is how to recognize the more restrained indicators of such behavioral problems and when and how to get involved.

The reasons why parents delay in helping their struggling adolescence is the confusion about whether their child is actually a troubled teen or not. They don’t know the habits of a troubled teen and when do they really need to help them. Many parents have a tendency to compare their own children with other children.

Although it is very enticing to compare your own children to other adolescents do avoid this tendency. This only triggers offense and discouragement in teenagers. Every person should be treated as a unique individual. Otherwise, the teens get discouraged. Parents can see for themselves if their child is troubled or in a self-destructive path and will do the best they can to help them. Parents should trust their instincts and seize all the necessary actions before the situation worsens.

Several adolescents grow to be skilled manipulators, extremely secretive and skilled at wriggling out of any situation. If the parents don’t keep a check on them, these teens can effortlessly influence and manipulate the situation so that the parent feels things are stable.

Is your teen disturbed or is your child just an ordinary adolescent facing the increasing pains of becoming an adult? There are some signs of a truly troubled teenager. The following Parenting tips would help you to be always cautious and on the watch out for your teens. If you doubt your child is a troubled teen, take actions quickly.

Signs of a troubled teen:

• The teen becomes very secretive, and desires greater privacy and isolation.
• Your teen has unexpected outbursts of irritation and annoyance that is evidently irrational and out of proportion of the reason causing anger.
• Your teen lies about his/her whereabouts.
• Your teen has unexpectedly changed his or her peer group and hasn’t made an attempt to make you meet their new friends. This new group has lead to a dissimilar transformation in appearances and drastic change in attitude.
• Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse regularly.
• Your adolescence has tremendous mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep lot more than usual times.
• Your child’s grades have suddenly dropped and the child has lost all interest in the usual routine and hobbies.

 Directing a child and guiding him to adulthood, to embed morals and values in them, to help discuss relationships, and to notice innovative ideas, goals, standards, principles and independence surface in your teenager is a quest. In every adventure, the delight is always in the entire journey.
 
Challenges dominated enhance the victory, and as disappointment is a part of it and cant be avoided, not a soul can be familiar with the stability of success and failure until the journey is complete. As long as the journey continues, there is always a hope to turn loses into achievement, flaws to strengths.
 
In every adventure, the challenges are exclusive to every explorer. Parents having two children will experience different challenges as they guide each child from beginning to end of their teenage years. Because every journey is only one of its kinds, there are no shortcuts or any way to make the bumps smooth, anticipate the various challenges coming our way or explode the landmines from before. Nevertheless, there are certain aspects of the journey that appear to be bliss.
 
Even though adolescents will choose their own was ultimately, an excellent home life can add to the chances that children will shun numerous of the pitfalls of teenage years. Mainly, a kind, affectionate, warm, firm connection with parents who reveal love and admiration for their kids, take a keen concern in their children’s actions, and place firm limitations for all those activities which may unswervingly or ultimately prevent criminal activity, negative peer pressure, unlawful drugs and alcohol use, law-breaking, low self-respect and low confidence
 
Parents who give their adolescents their support, love, care, time, boundaries and encouragement to think and analyze for themselves may find that they are actually enjoying their children’s journey through adolescence.
 
As they see their children grow in independence, making decisions, and develop into young adults, they may find that the child they have reared is a wonderful feeling just like the view of their newborn they held for the first time – far better than they could have ever imagined.
 
If adolescence is conceptualized as an adventure from childhood to adulthood, parenting adolescents can be called the journey itself.
 
Adolescence is a trying time of life for both teenagers and their families. The main challenge for teenagers is to form their own identity. The person they want to be. This is a difficult thing for the adolescence because while forming an identity, most of the adolescence try on a variety of personas.
 
Adolescence is a confusing phase of life for the teens. As parents it is your duty to help your teen work through adolescence.
 

Adolescents are at high risk for such behaviors as drug or alcohol abuse, pregnancy, brutality, cruelty, dejection, depression or suicide. One of the difficulties parents face is how to recognize the more restrained indicators of such behavioral problems and when and how to get involved.
 
The reasons why parents delay in helping their struggling adolescence is the confusion about whether their child is actually a troubled teen or not. They don’t know the habits of a troubled teen and when do they really need to help them. Many parents have a tendency to compare their own children with other children.
 
Although it is very enticing to compare your own children to other adolescents do avoid this tendency. This only triggers offense and discouragement in teenagers. Every person should be treated as a unique individual. Otherwise, the teens get discouraged. Parents can see for themselves if their child is troubled or in a self-destructive path and will do the best they can to help them. Parents should trust their instincts and seize all the necessary actions before the situation worsens.
 
Several adolescents grow to be skilled manipulators, extremely secretive and skilled at wriggling out of any situation. If the parents don’t keep a check on them, these teens can effortlessly influence and manipulate the situation so that the parent feels things are stable.
 
Is your teen disturbed or is your child just an ordinary adolescent facing the increasing pains of becoming an adult? There are some signs of a truly troubled teenager. The following Parenting tips would help you to be always cautious and on the watch out for your teens. If you doubt your child is a troubled teen, take actions quickly.
 
Signs of a troubled teen:
 
·         The teen becomes very secretive, and desires       The teen becomes very secretive, and desires greater privacy and isolation.
·         Your teen has unexpected outbursts of irritation and annoyance that is evidently irrational and out of proportion of the reason causing anger.
·  Your teen lies about his/her whereabouts.
·  Your teen has unexpectedly changed his or her peer group and hasn’t made an attempt to make you meet their new friends. This new group has lead to a dissimilar transformation in appearances and drastic change in attitude.
·  Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse regularly.
·  Your adolescence has tremendous mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep lot more than usual times.
·  Your child’s grades have suddenly dropped and the child has lost all interest in the usual routine and hobbies.

According to a new study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, American teens today are being more responsible than those who grew up during the 90’s. Some of the results are a little hard to believe because of the news that we see and hear about everyday, but the 14,000 students from 9th to 12th grade would prove that the news can sometimes be wrong. Here are some of the results.

About 48 percent of high school students were no longer virgins in 2007, down from 54 percent in 1991. Just 15 percent said they’d had four or more sexual partners, down from 19 percent in 1991.

62 percent of sexually active students said they’d used a condom the last time they had sex, up from 46 percent in 1991.

35 percent of teens had at least one drink of alcohol in the month before they were surveyed in 2007, down from 42 percent in 1991.

Marijuana used has fallen to 20 percent of students from a peak of 27 percent in 1999 while methamphetamine use is down to four percent of teens surveyed in 2007 from 10 percent in 2001.

Nearly half as many students admitted to carrying some kind of weapon: 17 percent in 2007 compared with 33 percent in 1991.

Only 12 percent of students said they’d rarely or never worn a seat belt in 2007, down from 35 percent in 1991. Just 27 percent said they’d gotten into a car with a driver who’d been drinking, down from 36 percent in 1991.

It seems like high school students, contrary to popular belief, are more concerned about staying healthy and being responsible. This positive changes should be encouraged and supported more by parents and everyone who cares about the future of the nation.

Although it’s illegal to buy alcohol in the United States until the age of 21, most teens can get access to it. It’s therefore up to you them make a decision about drinking. But why do teens drink anyway?

Experimentation with alcohol during the teen years is common. Some reasons that teens use alcohol and other drugs are:

* curiosity
* to feel good, reduce stress, and relax
* to fit in
* to feel older

From a very young age, kids see advertising messages showing beautiful people enjoying life — and alcohol. And because many parents and other adults use alcohol socially — having beer or wine with dinner, for example — alcohol seems harmless to many teens.

1. Be Who You Were Meant To Be.

Role Models are inspiring, but you can not spend your life trying to be like them. Your gifts, skills and talents are unique; don’t waste them trying to be like someone else. There is no one else on earth like you; embrace and flaunt the wonderful you!

2. Be In Control.

Drugs and alcohol can alter your personality. If you feel you’re more fun to be around when you’re drunk or high, you’re not presenting the real you. Let people get to know the real you. Be honest with your friends about who you really are. Trust your intuitions and find ways to resist peer pressure.

3. Be Proud of Where You Came From.

Whether you’re Haitian, Chinese, Indian, etc., take pride in your culture. Discrimination is a result of lack of knowledge and information. Don’t hide where you come from; share your culture or religion with others. Your ability to speak another language will come in handy in the future.

4. Be Cool.

There will be many things that will irritate you on any given day. It’s up to you to respond or react to these situations. Everyone gets mad once in awhile, but don’t let your anger get the best of you. If you have a need that is not being met, let the other person know. Before you blow up at someone, try to figure out what exactly is upsetting you and communicate it calmly with the other person. (more…)

A report from the suburbs has some surprising news about children growing up in the culture of affluence. It’s a longitudinal study and the interesting finding is that the kids have a multitude of adjustment problems. The surprise is that they often have more problems than age-matched kids growing up in the inner city—and their problems persist despite the mental health services presumably available to them.

Beyond a certain point, the researchers found, the pursuit of status and material wealth by high-earning families (say, $120,000 and above) tends to leave skid marks on the kids, but in ways you might not have expected. Affluent suburban high schoolers not only smoke more, drink more, and use more hard drugs than typical high schoolers do—they do so more than a comparison group of inner-city kids. In addition, they have much higher rates of anxiety and, in general, higher rates of depression.

Among affluent suburban girls, rates of depression skyrocket—they are three times more likely than average teen girls to report clinically significant levels of depression. And for all problems, the troubles seem to start in the seventh grade. Before then, the affluent kids do well.

Interestingly, among the upper-middle-class suburban kids, but not among the inner-city kids, use of alcohol and drugs is linked with depression and anxiety. That raises the possibility that substance use is an attempt to self-medicate.

 What’s more, this so-called negative-affect type of substance use tends to endure; it doesn’t disappear after the teen years. The researchers also found that among the suburban boys, popularity with peers went hand in hand with substance use.

What’s it all about? In part, the affluent kids are responding to achievement pressures. Rates of depression, anxiety, and substance use were high among those whose families overemphasized their accomplishments and who saw achievement failures as personal failures.

Isolation—emotional as well as literal—from adults also played a big role. Where the demands of the parents’ own professional careers eroded relaxed family time, and the kids shuttled between various after-school activities, distress and substance use among the young were high.

Accessibility counts. “A common assumption is that parents are more accessible to high- than to low-income youth, but our data showed otherwise,” the researchers reported. Wealthier kids didn’t feel closer to parents or spend more time with them at the dinner table, for example.

Eating dinner with at least one parent on most nights turned out to be a big deal. It predicted both adjustment and school performance—at both economic extremes.

Why do affluent kids have so many problems if their families can easily afford to get professional help for them? Maybe, the investigators suggested on the basis of other research, the parents aren’t eager to delve into problems that are not conspicuous—unless symptoms include those that inconvenience adults, such as disobedience.

Privacy concerns and embarrassment may also keep parents from attending to invisible problems. They may need to maintain a veneer of well-being. Then there are all the inconveniences of daily life that impede them—the demands of their very high-powered careers that provide so well for their families. “Few families would blithely repudiate such rewards,” the researchers concede.

Here’s the kicker: Even if the kids of the affluent got all the mental health care they need, something irreplaceably protective would still be missing from their lives: strong attachments with parents. Research shows that you can’t relieve “crystallized maladjustment” as long as kids’ everyday lives still present major challenges.

So what’s to be done? First and foremost, say the researchers, be aware of the costs of overscheduled and competitive lifestyles. Second, understand the risks affluence poses to healthy adjustment of children. And a third measure seems self-evident: Make dinner a command performance for all family members.

Go here to read the resource article by Hara Estroff Marano

The things that parents say to their kids are a very big influence into what they will become later in life. During the formative years, children’s primary source of information, knowledge and everything that they can learn are their parents thats why parents should always be mindful of whatever they say, and how they say it, when talking with their children. Here are seven common phrases that most parents use and their corresponding alternatives according to Cynthia Dermody.1. What you say: “You’re the best!”
What they hear: “Your job in life is to make me happy.”
A better way to say it: “You should be proud of how hard you worked.”

2. What you say: “Watch your language!”
What they hear: “I’ve tuned out what you’re really trying to say.”
A better way to say it: “I’m so glad you came to talk to me, but I have one request for the future. I find that word offensive, so please don’t use it.”

3. What you say: “We can’t afford that.”
What they hear: “Money is the answer to everything.”
A better way to say it: “The store is filled with great things today, but we’ve got lots at home already and we’re not going to bring home anything more.”

4. What you say: “Don’t worry — it’ll be okay.”
What they hear: “You’re such a drama queen!”
A better way to say it: “I totally understand what you must have gone through. Tell me about it.”

5. What you say: “Don’t talk to strangers.”
What they hear: “Anyone you don’t know is trying to hurt you.”
A better way to say it: “Don’t talk to people who make you feel uncomfortable. Here’s how to tell.”

6. What you say: “Make sure you share.”
What they hear: “Give away your stuff.”
A better way to say it: “Jesse would like to play with your race car for a while, but it’s still yours and he will give it back.”

7. What you say: “Why did you (miss your curfew, hit your sister, etc.)?”
What they hear: “You messed up again.”
A better way to say it: “My guess is that you missed your curfew because you were having fun and didn’t want to come home, but that’s still not okay.”

To read the full article click here.

Here are some simple tips or reminders on how to be the best parent you can ever be for your teen. This is based from Maria Markella’s article which can be read here.

1. Love your children.
Tell them how much they mean to you and give them lots of hugs and kisses.

2. Make sure your children are safe.
Do you show or explain to them how you protect them and why?

3. Spend time with your children.
It is a fact that bad children behavior is a result of the lack of attention, so spend some time with them and make them feel responsible.

4. Reward your children.
When they learn something new or when their behavior is appropriate, tell them how important that new thing was and how proud you are of them.

5. Create a consistent set of rules.
All families have certain rules, especially when it comes to children. Rules should not change often and if that happens make sure your children understood everything that’s new.

6. Keep a regular schedule for your children.
Children need to follow a strict schedule most of the times. A schedule will help them become disciplined individuals.

7. Listen to your children.
Children always have something to say. Always listen to their words. Sometimes they will ask complex questions that will surprise you. Take some time to discuss with them and try to give simple and meaningful answers.

8. Don’t criticize your children.
All children make mistakes. They need to know what they did wrong and why is that thing wrong, so take some time to explain to them all they need to know. Criticize the behavior, not the child.

9. Don’t spank your children.
Spanking achieves nothing but fear. If you feel frustrated or angry take a break. If you can’t control yourself how do you expect to teach your children discipline and self control?

As always, parenting is never an easy task. It is a life long process that can sometimes be tough and frustrating. However, parenthood is one of life’s most fulfilling roles. So just sit back and enjoy the ride. You do not need to be so hard on yourself, nor your children.

For the full article and resource, please click here.