Parenting Teens Blog

October 21, 2010

More Ways for Teens to Deal with Anger Issues

In the last post we covered the 5 step program for teens to deal with their anger issues. Some may find it extremely useful while other, although it’s still useful, will find it difficult to try and remain calm when anger hits them. That is why in this post we are going to discuss a few more ways that will help teens deal with anger.

Preventing anger is more than just trying to handle the situation when you get angry, there are things you can do to prevent that anger from ever coming to the surface. There are things you can do to stop the anger and anxiety building up inside you.

The first thing that relaxes our body is exercise. A simple jog or a walk in the park may do more good than you can imagine. Playing sports and being physically active is a great way to improve your mood and to ease the tension and let go of negative feelings, and this is a fact.

For some, not for everyone, music is a great way to relax and relieve the tension and anger feelings you may have. But it all depends on the type of music, as some types are known to decrease tension other may have the opposite effect, so be sure that you know the outcome of this exercise before you try it.

Another thing that may help you deal with anger is to write your thoughts down. You can keep a journal or write a blog, it doesn’t matter. When we share our feelings, even to a book that no one is going to read, it helps us recognize our feelings and emotions and helps us remove the negative aspect.

There is always Yoga, deep breathing, breathing exercises and stress management techniques that can help you control your emotions and keep you relaxed.

Talking about what is happening in your life, both good and bad, is always a great way to let go of stress and decrease the chances of getting angry.

There are great benefits to doing these things aside from preventing your anger issues. Yes, they will help you be cool and react differently to the situations that might lead you to anger. But they will also help you manage anger and every other emotional problem that you have, as well as anxiety and depression. These are simple universal techniques that can help each and every one of us relax and deal with our emotions better and more effective.
 

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October 20, 2010

5 Steps for Teens to Fight Anger

We all feel anger, it’s just normal. Not feeling anger would mean that we are deprived of emotions, and that would not be much of a life. But anger is not good for us, it can be in some rare and weird situations, but they can account for 0.1% of all anger situations. That means that we have to deal with our anger and learn to control it, learn to fight our anger. The best way to manage your anger is to solve the problem that makes you feel angry, so here is a 5 step approach to fighting anger:

-    The first step is to identify the problem, what got you angry! Think about a few things, not only what got you angry, but also why did that anger you? Try to think of every angle that influenced your angry state.
-    Now the next step is to take a deep breathe and think about how you can handle this situation, that will give you the time to cool down and you may come up with a peaceful solution to the problem, which is our goal.
-    Don’t just go for the first solution that comes to mind, think of a few possible solutions and consider how each of them can play out. Try to go with the best possible solution, note that after this much thinking you will calm down considerately.
-    Once you think it through its time to act on your decision. Do what you found was the best thing to do after thinking it through and after noticing that you are calm enough to act without anger.
-    The last part is to see where you stand. You may think this unnecessary but this is the most important step as this is the step where you analyze all of your actions and what happened after them, this will help you rethink everything and find an even better solution for any possible future situation that may cause you to feel anger.

If it went through like you hoped for great, if it didn’t go back through all your steps and try to figure out what went wrong. It sounds simple, but when you are angry it is hard to remain calm and do these five steps, so remember, take a deep breath and start slow. You will get nowhere if you rush things and get even angrier.
 

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September 16, 2010

Preventing Teen Stress

We all feel stress, some more than others, some of us cope with stress better than others, but the bottom line is that we all have to deal with stress, teens are no exception. So let’s see how we can diffuse our stressful situation or better yet, how we can prevent stress and stress overload.

So let’s start with the basics, the first and the most logical thing to do when you find yourself in a stressful situation is to remove yourself from that spot. Stress is just a defense mechanism, but at some times it can cause more problems than it helps us, especially if it is a constant in our life. Stress acts immediately and tightens our emotional and physical reaction, but once some time has passed without further provoking the stress factor our body will relax. Sometimes we cannot avoid a stressful situation no matter how much we try, but we can make sure that our body is less prone to react to stress by doing the following:

-    You need to sleep healthy, let your body rest
-    Also a healthy diet where you intake plenty of protein and some exercise will help your body
-    Lower the intakes of caffeine and nicotine if you smoke and drink coffee and avoid alcohol and drugs
-    You can devote yourself and find some time for things that personally relax you, that can be anything from going to the gym to hiking and fishing or some form of art
-    You can also try alternative methods like yoga, relaxation breathing
-    Listening to relaxation music and sounds
-    Meditation
-    Any form of stress management that you found useful

These are the things that will help you defuse stress situations, most of them can be used as preventive measures as well. But there are some things you need to do in order to prevent stress for hitting you and to prevent stress overload in the future.

-    You can imagine a scenario and practice handling a stressful situation
-    Learn some management skills, that will greatly decrease your stress levels
-    Once you know your stress sources try to avoid them as much as possible
-    Keep realistic expectations, one of the greatest source of stress is disappointment
-    So thing that make you feel good
-    Find things that help you relieve stress
-    Change your scenery, that can greatly help you deal and let go of stress
-    Find time for yourself, time to relax and enjoy

These are all the things that will help you deal with stress, prevent stress, prevent stressful situations as well as teach you how to handle yourself in a stressful situation. Remember, you don’t have to deal with stress alone, you can seek outside help, try talking to your friends and family or you can even seek professional help, anything that will help you deal with the situation at hand.
 

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September 15, 2010

Sources of Teen Stress

We all experience stress and are under constant stressors, minor everyday stressors or those traumatic stressors that tend to stick around. Whatever your cause of stress is the first step in dealing with it is to identify the cause of stress, once you know what the source of your stress is you can deal with it.

There are good stressors and bad stressors. Good stressors are the ones that give us signals and make us jump when we have to like, like when you hear a gunshot and immediately get to the ground, or reflexively hit the brakes when someone runs in front of your car. So stressors are good basically, what is not good is when these stressors become a constant part of our lives, that can really drain a person emotionally and cause serious problems.

In order to effectively deal with teen stress you have to use pre counter measures like identifying bad stressors before they actually happen, or identifying them in the early stage. Here are some of the negative stressors that teens deal with:

-    Transferring to a new school
-    Moving to a new home
-    Going on a  date
-    School work
-    High expectations
-    Extracurricular activities
-    Getting a job
-    Social inactivity
-    Overworking
-    Family issues
-    Substance abuse
-    Responsibilities like owning a car
-    Friends and relationships
-    Failing to achieve something desired
-    Financial issues

According to studies the top stressors besides school and school activities for teens are friends and family, basically relationships. The not so funny fact is that they are the cause and the solution to stress problems most teens have.

Once stress starts to take you in you will start to feel various problems, starting from emotional and mental issues to physical problems like fatigue, sleeplessness and loss of appetite, in some cases nervous breakdown occurs.

In order to deal with stress you need to identify it, we already said that, but what to do afterwards, well you can either get the help of a professional or find a way to release the stress and deal with it. But in order to achieve that you will have to see the warning signs and monitor what causes stress for you. There are other sources of teen stress, for each person they may be different, so think about what situations or tasks leave you nervous or exhausted both physically and mentally, if you manage to keep track of those things you will easily identify your sources of stress.
 

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September 14, 2010

Warning Signs of Teen Stress

Each parent has to be aware of the warning signs of teen stress; they also need to know how to react and how to help their stressed teenagers. But in order to help them you have to recognize the warning signs.

Every teenager has to deal with stress, this is normal. They have stress in school, from their school and homework, from their peers, extra activities, family issues, relationship issues. Other pressure types can cause a teen to feel over stressed and that can eventually lead to mental health issues such as anxiety disorder.
Here are the basic warning signs of teen stress you should watch out for:

-    Losing interest in things previously dedicated to
-    Having trouble eating or sleeping
-    Avoiding family and friends and going into solitude
-    Uninterested in anything at all
-    Complains about life in general or specific things that may be the cause of stress
-    Low performance in school and low attendance
-    Fears not being worthy and has low self esteem
-    Overreacts to simple things
-    Is worried about physical appearance too much
-    Irrational fears
-    Constant headaches
-    Withdrawing from social situations
-    Unable to concentrate and fails to make his or her own decisions
-    Reoccurring nightmares
-    Substance abuse, drugs, alcohol
-    Starts eating too much or stops eating
-    Shows signs of obsessive behavior
-    Engages in criminal activity

These are all the warning signs of teen stress taken to a new level, the level where you should be worried and do something about it in order to help your stressed teen. If more of these signs show you should be worried and you should definitely seek professional help, as all of these warning signs can lead to more serious problems if not addressed in time.

Even if your teen is still not showing any of the above mentioned signs if something of the following has happened you should be on the lookout:

-    If your teen child has gone or witness a traumatic event such as death in the family, or a loved one, a car accident or any other traumatic experience.
-    If your teen is overscheduled or being teased by his peers.
-    Showing physical symptoms mentioned above, like headaches
-    If they appear to be emotionally unbalanced

Stress overload can cause plenty of serious problems for both adults and teens, but if noticed in time this issue can be dealt with without much trouble in most cases. But in other cases this can be a very difficult process, the best course of action is to seek professional help. Understanding the problem and the cause of stress is the first step in dealing with stress overload, so be sure to watch your teen child at all times.
 

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