Today’s teenagers have been stereotyped as adventurous and harebrained individuals.  They are generally fond of experimenting with things until they get in touch with drugs, sex, guns, alcohol among others. According to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention figures, 16,000 young adults die each year from unintentional injuries and accidents.  The most common justification for teenagers’ care-free attitude is that their brains just aren’t developed enough to know better. However, recent research shows that in some cases the fact is just the opposite, the brain matures not too slowly but perhaps, too quickly.

According to a psychiatrist, an adolescent who engages in more dangerous activities have white-matter pathways that seem to be more mature than those of risk-averse youths.  White-matter is the brain’s wiring, the neutral pathways that connect the various gray-matter regions of the cerebrum that are independent of one another.  Having a mature white-matter is necessary because it allows faster brain processing speed.  Nerve impulses also travel faster in mature white-matter. Experiments also reveal that the more mature the look of the brain, the more adventurous the teenager tended to be.
Another possible explanation is that some teenagers whose brains develop more rapidly than others become uncomfortable and a little confused owing to the gap between their biological capabilities and the social norms they must follow as kids. Precocious development of these neural tracts may make some adolescents more susceptible to engage in behaviors that society considers too adult in nature for their chronological age. It is also a common notion that teens make dumb decisions because their brains are immature. In other words, having a more mature brain may actually motivate some teens to try out new and potentially harmful experiences.
For now, these theories are mere speculation, and the researchers concede that the interaction of white and gray matter is so complex that hard conclusions remain elusive. The results of the study are relatively bare and by no means conclusive. The human brain is so intricate in nature, and one has to consider the fact that there are other factors that come into play such as the environment and certain genetic predispositions that are equally complex to study.

It is amazing how fast things can change; how pure innocence can turn to arrogance and adventuresome. It seems up until your first year in high school, you feel safe from anything. You are preoccupied with life as how you knew it from the start, when in school you’re intrigued to hear rumors in junior high, they’re usually about who likes who, and who broke up with who. It just seems so naive. But when you stepped into high school, it becomes an entirely different ballgame. Somehow you seem to have been stripped of all your innocence. Suddenly you become vulnerable to the evils that you knew nothing about before. It seems the only thing people talk about is either sex or drug use. We all know of so many personalities who have so much potential to do great things in life, but threw it all away when they started to use drugs.

This is the daunting scenario that we have today. We are aware of it, the government is aware of it, law enforcers are aware of it but still the nagging problem persists and threatens the fragile future of our youth today. Numbers don’t lie. Nearly half of all high school seniors in America have experimented with illegal drugs and about three quarters have tried alcohol. A study conducted on the drug use prevalence among high school seniors in the US revealed the following: 41.8% have tried marijuana and at least 5% uses it everyday; 7.8% have used cocaine; 1.5% have tried heroin; 72.2% have used alcohol and 3.1% take alcohol daily; 6.5% have tried ecstasy; 8.4% have tried using hallucinogens (LSD, Magic Mushrooms, Peyote); and at least 15.4% have reported having used prescription drugs (Vicodin, OxyContin etc.) to get high. These are alarming statistics but equally disturbing is how easily high school students can get hold of these prohibited drugs. The dilemma that we have today is worse than what our parents had to deal with; and at the rate things are going it is quite likely that by the time you have kids, the situation will be ten times worse than what it is today.

The problem should be addressed now with more stringent measures and from different fronts. It should be a collective and conscious effort from the government, school administrations and more importantly the parents. Parents should be educated about the dangers facing their teens today because they are for real and are likely to stay if nothing is done to stem the problem. The government should make laws with much more teeth in them so as to deter drug dealers and manufacturers who are selling these substances like pancakes. Schools must have more effective screening and monitoring systems to keep drugs away from their vicinity and thus give their students a good shot for a productive college life.  Illicit drugs seem to fall in and out of favor with experimental youths.  But one thing is constant, more and more teens are experimenting with it. The perils are great and more threatening than ever, but studies consistently show that teens whose parents talk to them about drugs are at a much lower risk to experiment.

Once you have confirmed that your child is a troubled teen, what is the next step you should take? It is important to accept the fact that you might not be able to help your child without professional help.

Try considering the following measures:
1. Consult your teenager’s doctor –The first measure is to get a physical check up done in order to detect if there are any physical problems connected to health. Get an appointment with the doctor immediately, without delay. Hormonal changes in the body may be the main reason for all problems. Thus consulting the doctor is utmost important.
2. Consult the guidance counselor at school – Though she might not be in a position to provide the child a one-on-one counseling service, she can be of great help by telling you about the attitude and the troubling behavior of the child that the teachers and the other staff members might have taken note of. This can be of great help in finding out the child’s moods and behavior when away from home.
3. Consult a professional counselor and look for proper counseling-If you don’t know whom to approach and whom to contact, consult your pediatrician or your school’s counselor to help in contacting and providing names of recommended counselors and psychiatrists.
4. Treatment and curing centers – The counselor, therapist or psychiatrist that you may consult may feel that your teenager is too troubled and her behavior is too troubling to treat as an outpatient. In such a situation you will have to commit your teen in a treatment center for a time period suggested by the doctors and consultants in the centre.
5. Communicate – Communicating with your child may be very difficult at this phase of their life, you need to make an intensive and determined effort to keep the lines of communication open as much as possible. This will help them to converse without hesitation. You should encourage more time to be spending with family. Go out with them. Give them your time. Show that you care. Show them that you are there beside them to love and support them. Encourage them to invite their friends for lunch or dinner. Search for new hobbies that you and your child can enjoy together.
Professional help and good communication can help your teen in this phase of life. Being a parent, you need to understand your child and give them all the love, care and support.

Recurrent depression, cribbing, lamenting
Adolescents might illustrate their invasive grief by dressing up in black outfits, scripting poems with gloomy messages and themes, or having an obsession with tunes which has sad themes.  They possibly will sob for no obvious cause.
 
Despair
Young adults possibly will feel that there is no meaning to existence and it’s not worth living or important to sustain their looks or cleanliness.  They might suppose so as to an unhelpful situation will by no means alter and live cynical concerning their outlook in life and future.
 
Less attention in favorite past times and hobbies: 
Adolescents may turn out to be indifferent and loose interest in partying, clubs, games, and additional past times they once happened to enjoy. Nothing seems to interest a troubled teenager.
Constant dullness
Lack of inspiration, enthusiasm and less liveliness is noticed by irregular attendance in school. The child becomes very dull and depressed.

Communal separation, introvert
Teenagers may shun family and friends. Teens who loved spending time with friends will stay in isolation. Teenagers may not share their feelings with anyone thinking that no one cares about them and they are all alone in the world. This will further add to their worries leading to depression.
 
Low self-worth
Teens may feel like they are failures in life and this will have a negative impact on their self esteem and self worth.
 
Intense fear of failure
Thinking that they are not worth anything in life and they are failures will lead to further depression.
 
Amplified bad temper, annoyance, or aggression
Unhappy adolescents are often bad-tempered, leading to misbehaving with family.
 
Complexity with relations
Teenagers may suddenly stop calling friends and relatives. Stay in isolation.
 
Recurrent complaints of body pain and nervousness
Teenagers may complain of body pain, menstrual problems and bouts of nervousness leading to depression.
   
Less absorption
Teenagers may have a problem in concentrating in studies, following a television program or following a conversation.
 
Efforts of running away from home
Running away is a major sign of depression and it is a cry for assistance.
Consuming alcohol and drugs
Depressed teens will consume drugs and alcohol to feel better.

Self-Destruction
Adolescents who have complexity in discussing about their thoughts possibly will demonstrate their disturbing anxiety, bodily distress, arousing pain, and low self-worth with self-destructible behavior.
 

Whenever you ask a troubled teen as to what is their problem with their parent, more often than not you will get to hear that they are ‘not really being listened to’. Well, ‘listening’ is a tad difficult task for parents. They might also find ‘communication’ challenging. While parenting teens there are certain common measures that can ensure satisfactory results when intelligently applied. 
Whenever your teen approaches you for a conversation or simply speaks to you provide them with your undivided attention. You don’t need to display your expertise in multi-tasking at that moment. Stop reading, watching TV or acting busy as you are listening to your child. Misbehavior starts the moment they begin to feel that they are not worthy of your attention.  
As you listen, your attitude should be calm even if there is a major difference of opinion. Try to hear out with the intent of understanding the teenager’s point of view. If the situation calls for a ‘give and take’ approach, do not burden up your teen’s mind with preaches. 
When you are parenting a troubled teen, your tone ought to be courteous as you communicate. Remember that respect inevitably cultivates respect and that is completely manifested in the manner of speech. While communicating you should keep in mind that you are communicating with an individual who happens to be your teenage child. Your positive approach will help to make the troubled teen to seek you out as his dear confidant. So a sober tone always pays dividends with an improved relationship while abruptness or gruffness will only induce further hostility. 
As you try to make your communication effective, avoid judging the nature of your teen’s behavior at that moment. You may not approve it but at that moment emphasize more on the feelings involved. While parenting teens you surely need to be firm regarding the essential values but you should be flexible enough to accommodate the symbolism of the changing times. 
Free expression of ideas and feelings should be permitted. Everything that happens to be our part of life is being gradually apprehended by the children during their teenage. This must be realized. While parenting teens you must also understand that the teens tend to ‘test’ their ideas regarding education, morality, money, time and marriage or relationships during communication. Even if you happen to be alarmed by their opinion, you should give them a patient hearing. Then the mutual love and respect that you have cultivated will help you to put your point in a non-aggressive and logical and plain manner. 
 
 

Being a parent of a teenager is no easy task. Things go awry as you end up screwed with wrong results in your hand. You are left perplexed because you always intended to do the right thing!

Well, parenting teens is not that compound a task. An obvious and commonsensical approach will solve your problem. It has been observed that the section of the society that is lesser privileged adopts the authoritarian style. They tend to demand rather than compromise. They seldom believe in open or extensive communication and their display of affection is consciously kept to the minimum. It is basically a clear reflection of the interpersonal realities that get ingrained in the attitude of the parents. When they deal with their children, they apprehend them first as subordinates and then the actual relationship. The resultant behavior reflects the style of a social worker, a shift supervisor or a land lord. This parenting style is difficult to change since a shift in the environment is improbable.

While parenting teens, this controlling environment directs the children towards seeking reliance from others. As the adolescent mind naturally begins to hate this intrusive authority, striking a comfortable note with their parents does not happen to be much of a choice. They are in constant search of direction and limits on one hand and on the other they harbour this uncontrollable desire to break the shackles of limitations.

This leads to rebellion and external controlling factors get imposed on the tender minds. These controlling factors are in natural alignment with the respective temperament of the teenager. They can be gang leaders, drug dealers or sexual partners. This association provides them a sense of power that counters their parents’ authority. In such a situation, they naturally fail to develop their skills or attain positive self-direction.

Now what happens if the style of parenting teens happens to change radically? Well, then it becomes a dangerous proposition. This is because the change is a deviation from the parenting norm of the environment. When the authoritarian parents evolve as inconsistent ones, they create confusion of expectations. The teens are not able to assess the change logically and this resultant set of confused expectations enhances the already prevalent misbehavior.

This sudden shift towards the democratic focus on learning from natural consequences comes as a hard hitting on the adolescent mind. They fail to make well-informed decisions. The natural consequences that follow are substance abuse, teenage pregnancy and a rise in the drop-out rates.

But if the parenting teen style happens to be where the parents help the children to operate within the limitations of the society providing them with structure and example, the teens would be a lot relieved from self-judgment and the resulting chaos. 

To assist parents increase the level, and improve the quality, of their verbal interactions with their children, here are a few suggestions.

• Keep a paper and a pencil handy and make notes of the things you hear your children talking about or expressing interest in. When you hear them discussing to their friends or to one another, make note of the things they spoke about. The topics they bring up on their own and spend time talking about provide you with the best clues available about what is of interest to them.

• Talk to your children in a very natural way. Make sure it doesn’t come across as a formal discussion.
• Don’t try to be too “hip” as you talk to children. Avoid the use of terms and language the kids use. Use terms that are most familiar to you and the most characteristic of you, but which the kids understand. Kids don’t like it when their parents try to talk like kids.

• Watch for signs that tell you you’ve talked long enough. Ordinarily, conversations with children about “just things” don’t usually last very long. For that matter, kids don’t typically spend very long talking with their friends about such things. They bounce around from topic to topic, and thing to thing, never spending much time on anything or going into much depth

• Keep the conversation dignified. Avoid gossip, profanity, off-color jokes, or turns-of-phrase that compromise your adult level of dignity and civility. Remain a cut above “just one of the guys.” Children want their parents to have class. They want their parents to be someone to look up to. The quality of your conversations with them can go a long way in establishing that image of you in your children’s eyes. An occasional, appropriate joke is a very good thing. While the family is gathered around the dinner table is a wonderful time to share a good joke and bring a little humor into the family.

• Avoid ethnic jokes or any kind of joke or story that puts another person or another people down or that evokes humor at the expense of someone else. Maintain your dignity as an adult by showing respect for other cultures. Children really appreciate that.

• Regarding jokes, appropriate, clean humor is a characteristic of low-risk families. In such families there is a lot of smiling, laughing and lots of happy times. Come to the dinner table every night with a couple of good jokes. 
Children who learn good verbal skills are more likely to also have good social skills.

Following are characteristics we as parents should possess to eliminate stress, build physical and emotional endurance, and promote personal happiness:

1. Predictable in life style – Persons who enclose themselves with argument and who struggle for alternative life styles be inclined to experience less rewarding lives, characterized by grief.

2. Less thoughtful – Contented adults are likely not to be quite as liable to spend huge quantities of their time focused upon themselves, how they feel, what they are thinking. Etc.

3. Physically energetic – Exercise is a miracle that cures all kinds of problems – including stress.

4. Capability to share burdens – There is a real value in selectively sharing the problems we face with people who are truly trustworthy and caring.

5. Information of one’s restrictions – If a problem is beyond your limits, confess it and accept that there is only so much that you can do. This often frees you to find solutions which would otherwise be hidden.

6. Self-esteem – You are extraordinary and special. Treat yourself that way. Eat properly, set yourself a regular routine for sleep, dress upbeat, groom well, etc. It does wonders in boosting up your self confidence and self esteem.

7. Relaxation – People under stress tend to avoid relaxing. Relaxing yourself will help eliminate stress.

8. Involvement – One way to deal with stress is to focus your attention on other people. Get involved in the lives of others. Help your neighbor in some way. Join a service club. Volunteer to be a fund raiser. Do it! Serve others.

9. Organization – Make lists of what you need to do, and then check them off one by one. Lists give order and make complex tasks appear possible. Lists give hope and reduce tension.

10. Ability to be wrong – Being right all the time is impossible. Learn to do your best and accept that you will fall flat on your face from time to time. Just get up, smile, laugh at yourself, and move on.

11. Sense of humor – Read the funny papers, the jokes in magazines, etc. Interact with joyful people and learn to laugh with them. Laughter is wonderful medicine.

12. Ability to express emotion – If you are sad shed a few tears. Cry and then get back to the business of living. Laugh a lot, particularly at yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

13. Getting away – It is always well to take time-outs. Find a peaceful place and go there for nothing else but to get away and forget the troubles of the day. Go fishing, shopping, etc
 

Parenting an adolescent is not simple. It takes creativity, willpower and tolerance! It is a difficult journey. While there is no magic spells that will make teens behave in a different manner, you can accomplish the similar extreme transformation by learning how to tackle your child and approach your adolescent in order to get the outcome you desire.

Here are some parenting tips:

1. Accept the adolescent the way they are: Accept your child and his/her rebelliousness, and prepare yourself to tolerate that reality. If the child is disobedient and defiant, it doesn’t mean you also have to behave in a similar manner. Move on with your life, be happy and keep a belief that in all likelihood, everything will be fine in few years time. It’s not going to be easy. As parents want to improve the child as soon as possible. Be enduring and positive. Just bear in mind that the majority of children who go off the profound end as teenagers eventually re-emerge as responsible, mature adults.

2. When the adolescent is off track, you need to take extra pain and effort to secure and support the bonds of affection and apprehension connecting you and your child. Parents must stop getting disappointed. They should stop lecturing the child all the time, stop fuming, grieving, being mournful and start giving. Parents should show their love and care through gestures. Hug your child, tell him/her of your love and show that you care. Smile at them, laugh with them even though you are crying from within or are angry. It is necessary to put up an act. However, the act should be a sincere one. All children love being loved and want loving parents. Your child may disappoint you, but being parents and mature you should always be there for them and never disappoint them.

3. Never protect your teenagers from the responsibility and penalty of their actions and deeds. Consequences are the supreme teachers in our lives. When we protect our teenagers against the consequences of their actions and deeds, we alter reality and hinder their healthy growth and development.  Hence the child will never learn how to tackle the consequences of his own actions.

Support the institutions of Society that scatter penalty. If your child attains a speeding ticket, the police are not to be blamed. If the child is caught shoplifting, the company security is not to be blamed. If he is caught in possession of tobacco, drugs or alcohol and is sent to the juvenile court, the justice system or the court is not to be blamed. Getting caught is possibly the greatest thing that can happen to children who take on illegal actions.