Today’s teenagers have been stereotyped as adventurous and harebrained individuals.  They are generally fond of experimenting with things until they get in touch with drugs, sex, guns, alcohol among others. According to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention figures, 16,000 young adults die each year from unintentional injuries and accidents.  The most common justification for teenagers’ care-free attitude is that their brains just aren’t developed enough to know better. However, recent research shows that in some cases the fact is just the opposite, the brain matures not too slowly but perhaps, too quickly.

According to a psychiatrist, an adolescent who engages in more dangerous activities have white-matter pathways that seem to be more mature than those of risk-averse youths.  White-matter is the brain’s wiring, the neutral pathways that connect the various gray-matter regions of the cerebrum that are independent of one another.  Having a mature white-matter is necessary because it allows faster brain processing speed.  Nerve impulses also travel faster in mature white-matter. Experiments also reveal that the more mature the look of the brain, the more adventurous the teenager tended to be.
Another possible explanation is that some teenagers whose brains develop more rapidly than others become uncomfortable and a little confused owing to the gap between their biological capabilities and the social norms they must follow as kids. Precocious development of these neural tracts may make some adolescents more susceptible to engage in behaviors that society considers too adult in nature for their chronological age. It is also a common notion that teens make dumb decisions because their brains are immature. In other words, having a more mature brain may actually motivate some teens to try out new and potentially harmful experiences.
For now, these theories are mere speculation, and the researchers concede that the interaction of white and gray matter is so complex that hard conclusions remain elusive. The results of the study are relatively bare and by no means conclusive. The human brain is so intricate in nature, and one has to consider the fact that there are other factors that come into play such as the environment and certain genetic predispositions that are equally complex to study.

Just recently, CNN reported a heart-breaking news about a Berkeley teen who was convicted in the murder of his father. The victim was raising three kids on his own when one of them, for reasons unknown, murdered him with a gunshot to the head.  The judge handling the case found the 16-year-old teen guilty of first-degree murder with an enhancement for using a gun in the death of his 40-year-old father.

When the teen was sentenced, the judge could have him locked up in the California Division of Juvenile Justice until he reaches the age of 25. He could also face a variety of other sentences, including being placed on probation and sent home, being sent to a group home or placed in minimum security reform centers. Regardless of what happens, a life was lost and the life of the teenager and those of his siblings are put in jeopardy with the uneventful passing of their father who is supposed to guide them in today’s chaotic environment.

Teen violence is increasingly becoming one of the most serious problems of modern society. It is a curse not only for the victim but for his/her family and the entire society as well. It is also responsible for thousands of deaths every year around the world.  This kind of violence alienates the victim from his/her family, friends and loved ones. Teenagers who engage in violence, generally try to keep themselves away from everyone. Psychologists explain that they do so for the sake of getting away from social embarrassment. Teen abuse lawyers advocate that the victim must get proper legal support at such delicate phase of her/his life.

Young adults are complicated, inquisitive, and filled with potential. Once left unchecked, they can blow up in a million pieces, causing problems resulting to irreparable damage or even death. This is precisely the reason why parents are endowed with the moral obligation to guide their teens during this crucial stage in their lives.

Oftentimes teenagers find their peer groups to be more significant to them than their parents. This being the case, it is as if parents are handling over the life of their teen to the type of group he/she may belong to. With this change come different expectations. This is why friends are such a key developmental and influential factor in the teenage years. Many teens who get involved in gangs are simply trying to live out their new group’s expectations rather than their parents’. Adolescents are all on an equal plane when it comes to violent behavior. Regardless of background, almost all adolescents become significantly more violent after puberty and it drops off again somewhere in their mid-20s.

If we can only get rid of memories of traumatic events maybe it can diminish distress especially among our children and young adults. Such is not the case because we are not programmed to do so. Remembering what transpired on 9/11 can be a lot more difficult and painful especially among those who lost a loved one or for those who were directly impacted by that tragic day when terrorists struck fear and anxiety into the hearts of people from all corners of the globe. Moreover, media coverage commemorating the events in a detailed manner may heighten distress or indifference among our children.
So the question is, how can parents explain something so gruesome and traumatic to their children?  Parents can’t shield their children from acquiring information about what is so significant about 9/11. It is a thing of the past but it definitely left an indelible mark in history and on the eight anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center, as publication of news and photos of that tragic day find their way to our newspapers, television screens and the Internet, parents are dumbfounded about the manner on how they can explain to their children this hard and complex subject.
There are certain tips which may help all concerned parents on this particular issue. The first thing to do is to try to relax while discussing the topic. You have to consider the fact that talking about violent acts won’t increase your children’s fear any more than harbor anxiety about the unknown. Try to determine and feel what your child already knows about the event so you can somehow gauge the impact of the information you want to discuss thereby establishing the parameters of the subsequent conversation.
Try to be as transparent and honest as possible although you can opt to refrain from providing detailed information.  Children are generally smart, they can sense when they are being lied to or when you’re withdrawing something from them. It’s not appropriate to eliminate your children’s fear but a thorough explanation should be given to assure them somehow that there is nothing to be afraid of as government authorities are trying to find ways to protect the nation’s citizenry against another horrible event. Just make sure that your children are interested about the flow of the conversation, otherwise it’s better to drop the topic. Your children may not yet want or need to discuss the event at this particular period but they will certainly bring it out sooner or later.
Parents ought to be very careful when discussing traumatic events to their children and young adults especially those with acts of terrorism such as 9/11 because you are not certain how they will interpret and react on such sensitive subject matters.

Grief is a somewhat complicated and misunderstood emotion. Yet, grief is something that, unfortunately, we must all experience at some time or other. We will all inevitably experience loss. Whether it is a loss through death, divorce or some other loss, the stages of grieving are the same.

The five stages of grief are:

1-Denial-”this can’t be happening to me”, looking for the former spouse in familiar places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-”why me?”, feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn’t leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.

Death is a fact of life, everyone would die and everyone would loose someone they love eventually. People deal with the death of a loved one in many different ways, some are positive while others are negative. Most adults deal with it in a mature way and most of them actually learn many things from that kind of experience. Teenagers on the other hand, are more likely to take grief in a more negative and sometimes destructive way. The feelings that they would feel are intense and and they can show it in a number of explosive ways which is relatively better than the alternative. The alternative, which some teens choose to do, is to keep their pain and negative feelings inside. They may even show no emotions at all when they loose someone, but parents should know better than to assume that they do not feel the pain and anguish.

Kids who do not express their emotions have a tendency to implode and eventually self-destruct if they do not get the help that they need. But its not that easy to help them cope with whatever grief they are feeling because they almost always don’t want to talk about it. So, how can parents help?

The best possible way is to consult a professional, psychologists, therapists and even religious leaders can help. They are specially trained to deal with these situations. Talking about the death and the problems openly in a calm and reassuring way is also a good idea, the grieving teens do not even need to participate if they don’t want to, but hearing people talk and hearing reassuring words can encourage him/her to change their mind and express what their feelings.

Let them realize, even in an indirect and subtle way that its not the end of the world and no matter how bad they feel right now, it can and will get better eventually.