Being a parent of a teenager is no easy task. Things go awry as you end up screwed with wrong results in your hand. You are left perplexed because you always intended to do the right thing!

Well, parenting teens is not that compound a task. An obvious and commonsensical approach will solve your problem. It has been observed that the section of the society that is lesser privileged adopts the authoritarian style. They tend to demand rather than compromise. They seldom believe in open or extensive communication and their display of affection is consciously kept to the minimum. It is basically a clear reflection of the interpersonal realities that get ingrained in the attitude of the parents. When they deal with their children, they apprehend them first as subordinates and then the actual relationship. The resultant behavior reflects the style of a social worker, a shift supervisor or a land lord. This parenting style is difficult to change since a shift in the environment is improbable.

While parenting teens, this controlling environment directs the children towards seeking reliance from others. As the adolescent mind naturally begins to hate this intrusive authority, striking a comfortable note with their parents does not happen to be much of a choice. They are in constant search of direction and limits on one hand and on the other they harbour this uncontrollable desire to break the shackles of limitations.

This leads to rebellion and external controlling factors get imposed on the tender minds. These controlling factors are in natural alignment with the respective temperament of the teenager. They can be gang leaders, drug dealers or sexual partners. This association provides them a sense of power that counters their parents’ authority. In such a situation, they naturally fail to develop their skills or attain positive self-direction.

Now what happens if the style of parenting teens happens to change radically? Well, then it becomes a dangerous proposition. This is because the change is a deviation from the parenting norm of the environment. When the authoritarian parents evolve as inconsistent ones, they create confusion of expectations. The teens are not able to assess the change logically and this resultant set of confused expectations enhances the already prevalent misbehavior.

This sudden shift towards the democratic focus on learning from natural consequences comes as a hard hitting on the adolescent mind. They fail to make well-informed decisions. The natural consequences that follow are substance abuse, teenage pregnancy and a rise in the drop-out rates.

But if the parenting teen style happens to be where the parents help the children to operate within the limitations of the society providing them with structure and example, the teens would be a lot relieved from self-judgment and the resulting chaos. 

To assist parents increase the level, and improve the quality, of their verbal interactions with their children, here are a few suggestions.

• Keep a paper and a pencil handy and make notes of the things you hear your children talking about or expressing interest in. When you hear them discussing to their friends or to one another, make note of the things they spoke about. The topics they bring up on their own and spend time talking about provide you with the best clues available about what is of interest to them.

• Talk to your children in a very natural way. Make sure it doesn’t come across as a formal discussion.
• Don’t try to be too “hip” as you talk to children. Avoid the use of terms and language the kids use. Use terms that are most familiar to you and the most characteristic of you, but which the kids understand. Kids don’t like it when their parents try to talk like kids.

• Watch for signs that tell you you’ve talked long enough. Ordinarily, conversations with children about “just things” don’t usually last very long. For that matter, kids don’t typically spend very long talking with their friends about such things. They bounce around from topic to topic, and thing to thing, never spending much time on anything or going into much depth

• Keep the conversation dignified. Avoid gossip, profanity, off-color jokes, or turns-of-phrase that compromise your adult level of dignity and civility. Remain a cut above “just one of the guys.” Children want their parents to have class. They want their parents to be someone to look up to. The quality of your conversations with them can go a long way in establishing that image of you in your children’s eyes. An occasional, appropriate joke is a very good thing. While the family is gathered around the dinner table is a wonderful time to share a good joke and bring a little humor into the family.

• Avoid ethnic jokes or any kind of joke or story that puts another person or another people down or that evokes humor at the expense of someone else. Maintain your dignity as an adult by showing respect for other cultures. Children really appreciate that.

• Regarding jokes, appropriate, clean humor is a characteristic of low-risk families. In such families there is a lot of smiling, laughing and lots of happy times. Come to the dinner table every night with a couple of good jokes. 
Children who learn good verbal skills are more likely to also have good social skills.

Following are characteristics we as parents should possess to eliminate stress, build physical and emotional endurance, and promote personal happiness:

1. Predictable in life style – Persons who enclose themselves with argument and who struggle for alternative life styles be inclined to experience less rewarding lives, characterized by grief.

2. Less thoughtful – Contented adults are likely not to be quite as liable to spend huge quantities of their time focused upon themselves, how they feel, what they are thinking. Etc.

3. Physically energetic – Exercise is a miracle that cures all kinds of problems – including stress.

4. Capability to share burdens – There is a real value in selectively sharing the problems we face with people who are truly trustworthy and caring.

5. Information of one’s restrictions – If a problem is beyond your limits, confess it and accept that there is only so much that you can do. This often frees you to find solutions which would otherwise be hidden.

6. Self-esteem – You are extraordinary and special. Treat yourself that way. Eat properly, set yourself a regular routine for sleep, dress upbeat, groom well, etc. It does wonders in boosting up your self confidence and self esteem.

7. Relaxation – People under stress tend to avoid relaxing. Relaxing yourself will help eliminate stress.

8. Involvement – One way to deal with stress is to focus your attention on other people. Get involved in the lives of others. Help your neighbor in some way. Join a service club. Volunteer to be a fund raiser. Do it! Serve others.

9. Organization – Make lists of what you need to do, and then check them off one by one. Lists give order and make complex tasks appear possible. Lists give hope and reduce tension.

10. Ability to be wrong – Being right all the time is impossible. Learn to do your best and accept that you will fall flat on your face from time to time. Just get up, smile, laugh at yourself, and move on.

11. Sense of humor – Read the funny papers, the jokes in magazines, etc. Interact with joyful people and learn to laugh with them. Laughter is wonderful medicine.

12. Ability to express emotion – If you are sad shed a few tears. Cry and then get back to the business of living. Laugh a lot, particularly at yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

13. Getting away – It is always well to take time-outs. Find a peaceful place and go there for nothing else but to get away and forget the troubles of the day. Go fishing, shopping, etc
 

Human beings constantly change during their lifetime. These changes are in size, shape, appearance and psychological changes. These changes vary from person to person. However the essential fundamental patterns of growth and development stay the same and occur in a systematic way. Every individual with their unique heredity and the way they are nurtured determines the way they traverse the path of their life. Every human being attains the size, shape, capacities and development in a way which is uncharacteristic to him/her at every stage of life.

Every person goes through various stages of childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age. In each of these stages the person goes through physical, emotional, psychological changes. The most significant factor that shapes the individuality and personality of a human being through the stages of development is communication. Communicating with the family members is very important. It plays a very important part in framing the personality of a person throughout the adolescent phase. Good communication can establish the parent child relationships during infancy, childhood, adolescence and beyond. It helps us shun lots of troubles, and unravel those that occur. It fosters warmth, indulgence, faith, admiration, deliberation and fun. Words are complex things, and the majority of families hit patches while accepting and listening to each other seem hard. Poor communication and simple misunderstandings has been the root of all kinds of problems.

Parents and children should not have a communication gap, and they should talk to each other. As parents, you are aware of the changes that teenagers go through.  But parents are unwilling to receive in the emotional and societal maturity that the child attains. Parents usually look back at the good old childhood days of their children that they spend together and they are uncertain of the new changes that without doubt dawns on them. We try to establish the identified and acceptable personality traits in our children that is in them hereditarily, and try to do away with those character traits which seem unfamiliar to parents.
Adolescents must comprehend truly what meticulous changes they undergo physically and psychologically, what makes their parents suddenly look like aliens to them, and how they can help to conquer this situation which causes massive twinge both to their parents and them. Parents also require realizing these developmental features in themselves and also their kids. It is the parent’s responsibility to be properly aware of the various developmental changes that occur in their child and properly interact and communicate with them so that the child without any hesitation opens up with them, and asks for suggestions and advice.
 

The adolescent period is nerve-racking for both parents as well as teens. Teens experience a number of developmental adjustments including biological, emotional, communal, and cognitive changes in their journey to becoming mature adults. Parenting successfully during the teen years, requires a careful indulgence of these developmental transformation.

Understanding the different parenting trends provides a basis for many healthy developmental outcomes during the phase of adolescence.

There are four primary parenting trends:

1. Authoritative Parents: They are warm but firm. They persuade their adolescents to be independent but at the same time they sustain restrictions and manage their actions. They do not summon rules on their children, instead are willing to consider, pay attention to, and take into account their child’s point of view. Authoritative parents take on discussions and debates with their teenager, though final responsibility reside with the parent. Authoritative parents study how to discuss and negotiate and they recognize that their outlook is respected and appreciated. As a consequence, they are more likely to be communally capable, responsible and independent.

2. Authoritarian Parents: Authoritarian Parents exhibit little warmth and immense controlling. They are firm disciplinarians, use a preventive, restraining, corrective manner and persist that their teenager follows parental guidelines. They do not take on discussions with their child and family rules are not debated. They believe that the child should abide by their rules without raising questions or arguments. Authoritarian Parents study that following parental rule and obedience to discipline is respected over independent behavior. This makes the child disobedient, unruly and dependent. Thus they become aggressive.

3. Permissive Parents: Permissive parents are warm and straightforward. They are generous, tolerant and submissive in their parenting. They believe that the means to show love to the child is by giving in to their desires. They do not like to refuse their child for anything or disappoint them in anyway. Permissive Parents do not view themselves as lively participants  in determining their child’s actions , instead they consider themselves as a resource and leave it completely to the child to decide whether to seek the parents advice or not. Permissive Parents learn that are very little limitations and that consequences are not expected to be very severe. Thus the teens have a difficulty with self control and discipline.

4. Uninvolved Parents: They are not warm and have no demands from their child. They do not interact much with the child and are totally uninvolved. They are uncaring towards their child’s requirements, whereabouts, wants or experiences in school or with peers. They study that parents are concerned about their own lives and less liable to devote time in parenting. Thus the teens reveal reckless and brash behavior.

Parenting an adolescent is not simple. It takes creativity, willpower and tolerance! It is a difficult journey. While there is no magic spells that will make teens behave in a different manner, you can accomplish the similar extreme transformation by learning how to tackle your child and approach your adolescent in order to get the outcome you desire.

Here are some parenting tips:

1. Accept the adolescent the way they are: Accept your child and his/her rebelliousness, and prepare yourself to tolerate that reality. If the child is disobedient and defiant, it doesn’t mean you also have to behave in a similar manner. Move on with your life, be happy and keep a belief that in all likelihood, everything will be fine in few years time. It’s not going to be easy. As parents want to improve the child as soon as possible. Be enduring and positive. Just bear in mind that the majority of children who go off the profound end as teenagers eventually re-emerge as responsible, mature adults.

2. When the adolescent is off track, you need to take extra pain and effort to secure and support the bonds of affection and apprehension connecting you and your child. Parents must stop getting disappointed. They should stop lecturing the child all the time, stop fuming, grieving, being mournful and start giving. Parents should show their love and care through gestures. Hug your child, tell him/her of your love and show that you care. Smile at them, laugh with them even though you are crying from within or are angry. It is necessary to put up an act. However, the act should be a sincere one. All children love being loved and want loving parents. Your child may disappoint you, but being parents and mature you should always be there for them and never disappoint them.

3. Never protect your teenagers from the responsibility and penalty of their actions and deeds. Consequences are the supreme teachers in our lives. When we protect our teenagers against the consequences of their actions and deeds, we alter reality and hinder their healthy growth and development.  Hence the child will never learn how to tackle the consequences of his own actions.

Support the institutions of Society that scatter penalty. If your child attains a speeding ticket, the police are not to be blamed. If the child is caught shoplifting, the company security is not to be blamed. If he is caught in possession of tobacco, drugs or alcohol and is sent to the juvenile court, the justice system or the court is not to be blamed. Getting caught is possibly the greatest thing that can happen to children who take on illegal actions.

Adolescents are at high risk for such behaviors as drug or alcohol abuse, pregnancy, brutality, cruelty, dejection, depression or suicide. One of the difficulties parents face is how to recognize the more restrained indicators of such behavioral problems and when and how to get involved.

The reasons why parents delay in helping their struggling adolescence is the confusion about whether their child is actually a troubled teen or not. They don’t know the habits of a troubled teen and when do they really need to help them. Many parents have a tendency to compare their own children with other children.

Although it is very enticing to compare your own children to other adolescents do avoid this tendency. This only triggers offense and discouragement in teenagers. Every person should be treated as a unique individual. Otherwise, the teens get discouraged. Parents can see for themselves if their child is troubled or in a self-destructive path and will do the best they can to help them. Parents should trust their instincts and seize all the necessary actions before the situation worsens.

Several adolescents grow to be skilled manipulators, extremely secretive and skilled at wriggling out of any situation. If the parents don’t keep a check on them, these teens can effortlessly influence and manipulate the situation so that the parent feels things are stable.

Is your teen disturbed or is your child just an ordinary adolescent facing the increasing pains of becoming an adult? There are some signs of a truly troubled teenager. The following Parenting tips would help you to be always cautious and on the watch out for your teens. If you doubt your child is a troubled teen, take actions quickly.

Signs of a troubled teen:

• The teen becomes very secretive, and desires greater privacy and isolation.
• Your teen has unexpected outbursts of irritation and annoyance that is evidently irrational and out of proportion of the reason causing anger.
• Your teen lies about his/her whereabouts.
• Your teen has unexpectedly changed his or her peer group and hasn’t made an attempt to make you meet their new friends. This new group has lead to a dissimilar transformation in appearances and drastic change in attitude.
• Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse regularly.
• Your adolescence has tremendous mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep lot more than usual times.
• Your child’s grades have suddenly dropped and the child has lost all interest in the usual routine and hobbies.

 Directing a child and guiding him to adulthood, to embed morals and values in them, to help discuss relationships, and to notice innovative ideas, goals, standards, principles and independence surface in your teenager is a quest. In every adventure, the delight is always in the entire journey.
 
Challenges dominated enhance the victory, and as disappointment is a part of it and cant be avoided, not a soul can be familiar with the stability of success and failure until the journey is complete. As long as the journey continues, there is always a hope to turn loses into achievement, flaws to strengths.
 
In every adventure, the challenges are exclusive to every explorer. Parents having two children will experience different challenges as they guide each child from beginning to end of their teenage years. Because every journey is only one of its kinds, there are no shortcuts or any way to make the bumps smooth, anticipate the various challenges coming our way or explode the landmines from before. Nevertheless, there are certain aspects of the journey that appear to be bliss.
 
Even though adolescents will choose their own was ultimately, an excellent home life can add to the chances that children will shun numerous of the pitfalls of teenage years. Mainly, a kind, affectionate, warm, firm connection with parents who reveal love and admiration for their kids, take a keen concern in their children’s actions, and place firm limitations for all those activities which may unswervingly or ultimately prevent criminal activity, negative peer pressure, unlawful drugs and alcohol use, law-breaking, low self-respect and low confidence
 
Parents who give their adolescents their support, love, care, time, boundaries and encouragement to think and analyze for themselves may find that they are actually enjoying their children’s journey through adolescence.
 
As they see their children grow in independence, making decisions, and develop into young adults, they may find that the child they have reared is a wonderful feeling just like the view of their newborn they held for the first time – far better than they could have ever imagined.
 
If adolescence is conceptualized as an adventure from childhood to adulthood, parenting adolescents can be called the journey itself.
 
Adolescence is a trying time of life for both teenagers and their families. The main challenge for teenagers is to form their own identity. The person they want to be. This is a difficult thing for the adolescence because while forming an identity, most of the adolescence try on a variety of personas.
 
Adolescence is a confusing phase of life for the teens. As parents it is your duty to help your teen work through adolescence.
 

Adolescents are at high risk for such behaviors as drug or alcohol abuse, pregnancy, brutality, cruelty, dejection, depression or suicide. One of the difficulties parents face is how to recognize the more restrained indicators of such behavioral problems and when and how to get involved.
 
The reasons why parents delay in helping their struggling adolescence is the confusion about whether their child is actually a troubled teen or not. They don’t know the habits of a troubled teen and when do they really need to help them. Many parents have a tendency to compare their own children with other children.
 
Although it is very enticing to compare your own children to other adolescents do avoid this tendency. This only triggers offense and discouragement in teenagers. Every person should be treated as a unique individual. Otherwise, the teens get discouraged. Parents can see for themselves if their child is troubled or in a self-destructive path and will do the best they can to help them. Parents should trust their instincts and seize all the necessary actions before the situation worsens.
 
Several adolescents grow to be skilled manipulators, extremely secretive and skilled at wriggling out of any situation. If the parents don’t keep a check on them, these teens can effortlessly influence and manipulate the situation so that the parent feels things are stable.
 
Is your teen disturbed or is your child just an ordinary adolescent facing the increasing pains of becoming an adult? There are some signs of a truly troubled teenager. The following Parenting tips would help you to be always cautious and on the watch out for your teens. If you doubt your child is a troubled teen, take actions quickly.
 
Signs of a troubled teen:
 
·         The teen becomes very secretive, and desires       The teen becomes very secretive, and desires greater privacy and isolation.
·         Your teen has unexpected outbursts of irritation and annoyance that is evidently irrational and out of proportion of the reason causing anger.
·  Your teen lies about his/her whereabouts.
·  Your teen has unexpectedly changed his or her peer group and hasn’t made an attempt to make you meet their new friends. This new group has lead to a dissimilar transformation in appearances and drastic change in attitude.
·  Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse regularly.
·  Your adolescence has tremendous mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep lot more than usual times.
·  Your child’s grades have suddenly dropped and the child has lost all interest in the usual routine and hobbies.

Although children as young as 5 can be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), few research studies have looked at treatments specifically geared toward young children with this disorder. Now, a new study from the Bradley Hasbro Children’s Research Center provides some of the first evidence-based data on a successful intervention for early childhood OCD.

According to the study’s findings, published in the May issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, children with OCD between the ages of 5 and 8 may benefit from a form of psychotherapy, known as family-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), that is uniquely tailored to the child’s developmental needs and family context. The overall focus of family-based CBT is to provide both child and parents with a set of tools to help them understand, manage and reduce OCD symptoms.

Researchers worked with 42 young children with OCD who were randomized to receive 12 sessions – completed over 14 weeks – of either family-based CBT or family-based relaxation treatment (RT), an approach that teaches the family and child relaxation techniques aimed at reducing some of the stress inherent with OCD. Just over half of the patients were randomly assigned to CBT and 48 percent were assigned to RT. Overall, 74 percent of patients completed all 14 weeks of treatment.

The CBT program was found to be significantly more effective than RT in decreasing OCD symptoms and, most importantly, helping a large number of children achieve clinical remission. Specifically, 69 percent of the children who completed all 14 weeks of CBT treatment achieved remission compared to 20 percent who fully completed the RT program. Even those children who started, but did not complete, the CBT program did well, with 50 percent achieving clinical remission.

Read the full article here.