Parenting Teens Blog

July 21, 2010

Why Teenagers Drink?

Teenagers drink as much alcohol as adults, which is a fact. I don’t mean the quantity of alcohol drank, but the number, percentage of teenagers that drink is the same percentage for adults. Over 80% of teenagers have tried alcohol, but in the end drinking comes down to a simple choice, whether they want to drink or not is totally up to them, but once they are considered as adults. So let’s take a look at some of the reasons why teenagers drink, although my bet is you can guess the first reason.


The first and the most talked about reasons is that teenagers think it's cool, the same thing is with cigarettes and with drugs. But there are several reasons behind it, for instance, teenagers will be more likely to start drinking if they have parents who drink or if their friends drink. Parents need to give them a clear message and to educate them about drinking before they even think about drinking.

Alcohol is basically a drug that changes how we feel, the sensation that we feel at the lower levels of alcohol can be a very pleasant thing, which is what most of the people who drink look for, but unfortunately not all of us can stop when it is pleasant and we often take it overboard. That is even more common for teenagers, as they still don’t know their limits.

Alcohol is in fact a depressant for the central nervous system, so most people think they will chill out with a few drinks, but the few drinks often turn into much more, especially with teens, as they don’t know how much is enough. But there are plenty of other reasons why teenagers drink besides thinking its cool, another popular reason is curiosity. But that is why they start, or try alcohol in the first place.

Two more popular reasons are to fit in and to feel older. If you are thinking that it sounds stupid, it isn’t, well it is, but it’s not any more stupid than anything that we did in their age. I mean how many of us tried alcohol in our teen years? That is how teenagers are, and most of them will do just about anything to fit in, even do drugs.

It is needless to say that most of the reasons for drinking come from the family, as that can be well defined for adults it is not so easy for teenagers, as they are still experimenting and have no idea what they are getting themselves into. The only choice and option you have as a parent is to educate your child about alcohol and its effects before they try it. Maybe that will give them a better understanding of what they are missing.
 

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July 18, 2010

The Aftermath of Teen Date Rape

In most cases when rape is mentioned people automatically think about some stranger jumping from the shadows and forcing them to have sex. While in fact more than 60% rape cases were committed by a familiar person, someone who knows the victim. Teen rape is at its highest, the number of teen rape victims has never been as high as it is now, and the biggest part of the rape cases falls under date rape.


Rape is an act of violence, many defend themselves by saying that they did it out of love or passion, that couldn’t be farther away from the truth, rape has nothing to do with love. The other notoriously famous statement from date rapists who claim they did it out of passion is that the person who got raped asked for it. They often describe the situation as they were being lured in, that the person who got raped led them on by wearing sexy or provocative clothes and the way they acted. Again, this couldn’t be farther away from the truth, there has never been an excuse for rape nor will there ever be one. The rapist is the one at fault, nothing said or done by the raped person can’t justify the rape.

That is one of the issue I am concerned about, teens dealing with the aftermath of rape. Teenagers are already in a fragile state of emotions as it is, rape can mess with their mind, feelings and some of the kids who experienced rape can never heal from it, especially the fact that someone they know raped them. In most cases with date rape people can’t deal with their emotions, they keep reliving the same thing over and over again, they become too afraid to get close to someone out of fear, eventually without help they will close in and self destruct from inside.

Date rape has that suicide effect on the victim, they can’t help but to feel responsible, to feel ashamed, like they did something wrong. The fear starts to reside in their hearts and if treatment and care aren’t provided from the start the consequences may be horrible, in some cases date rape victims even commit suicide. So how do you help your teen child or friend who was raped by a person he or she trusted?

There are three basic steps. First you have to make them believe that it wasn’t their fault, which is the most important thing. If they can’t go pass that point the situation may become critical. Letting go of the guilt and the feeling of responsibility is a must for date rape victims to move on. The second step is to seek medical care, both physical and mental. You need to make sure that you haven’t been infected by some sexually transmitted disease and at the same time therapy is necessary. The last part is to make them talk about their feelings, that is the only way to let go and move on.
 

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July 16, 2010

Wilderness Programs For Troubled Teens

If you have a troubled boy at home and don’t know what to do to help him there are a few options that you need to consider. One of the most popular options is sending your child to a specialty boarding school. Those schools are specialized in dealing with all sorts of teen issues and problems and have a success rate that is very reassuring. But if you don’t want to take that step yet there is a shorter alternative that just might do the trick, we are talking about wilderness programs for troubled teens.


There is something in the wilderness therapy programs that make a child turn for the best; maybe it’s just nature at work. But you need to be known that not all wilderness programs are for every child, the simple fact that not all of the wilderness programs are created equal should state that they only work with specific types of teens.

Well I said there is something in wilderness programs that helps a child; it’s not just “something”. Kids themselves have a tremendous capacity to see the truth in themselves, especially in a free environment, meaning no parents around. This is based upon self reflection in an environment free of all the distractions, computers, parents, friends, school, clothes, dates etc.

In wilderness programs it’s all about relearning the basics, controlling what can be controlled and letting go of things that cannot be controlled. A great thing is that wilderness programs represent and give challenges to these kids, which is what most kids need in order to find inspiration and motivation. And the best part is that they do it without pressure, so yes, the kids have a goal, a challenge they must complete, but they can do it on their own schedule, nobody is forcing them to do that in an hour. So they take responsibility for their actions.

Children that attend wilderness programs are seeing a therapist once or twice a week to discuss their progress and everything else that bothers them. Most of the children after just a few short weeks of hiking, sitting by the fire, achieving something on their own and talking with someone who listens come to a self discovery and they realize they have to change, they realize they have changed. They realize they don’t need to do drugs anymore, they don’t need to yell to express how they feel, they realize that they miss their friends and their family and that they are sorry for the things they’ve done.

Keep in mind that 6 to 8 weeks in wilderness may help most of the teens, but some troubled teenagers need more attention and special care than others. So talk to a professional and get your kid to an evaluation before making a decision. If your child is suited for a wilderness program that is one of the greatest experiences a kid can get, so don’t hold back to do it again even after your child get’s back on track.
 

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July 14, 2010

Warning Signs of Teen Mental Health Problems

Teen years are the most frightening ones, for both teenagers and their parents. The time has come for some changes and that scares all of us, we as parents know that some changes will take place, but we don’t know which, but we are prepared a bit, unlike our children who have no idea what is around the corner.  We need to face the fact that our children are under a lot of stress, they want to do well in school, they want to be liked by their peers and they don’t want to make mistakes. That is just a part of being a teenager, but in some cases that may go overboard, so if your teenager is feeling worthless, hopeless, sad he might be showing signs of mental health issues.


Mental problems in teen years can lead to sever consequences, so if you have such a doubt you should check for signs of mental health problems, Look for these signs:

-    Your teen child is very angry most of the time, cries a lot or overreacts to things;
-    He or she feels worthless or guilty a lot;
-    Your teen is anxious or worried a lot more than other young people;
-    Your child is feeling grief for a long time after a loss or death;
-    Your child has unexplained fears
-    Your child is constantly concerned about physical problems or appearance;
-    And the most obvious one, your child is frightened that his or her mind is controlled or is out of control.

Other symptoms you need to take in consideration are changes that happened with your teen in the recent past. In most cases they happen suddenly:

-    Unexplained changes in sleeping or eating habits
-    Avoids friends or family and wants to be alone all the times
-    Daydreams too much and can't get things done;
-    Feels life is too hard to handle or talks about suicide;
-    Hears voices that cannot be explained.

There are other signs like:

-    Poor concentration
-    Worrying about being harmed
-    Constant nightmares
-    Alcohol and drug abuse
-    Aggressive behavior

Be sure that if these signs appear out of the blue or they are repeating over a longer period of time, you should consult a professional like a therapist. But also keep in mind that teenagers change their attitude and their behavior frequently, so if this is normal for your child or he changes his pattern in a few days or weeks you probably have nothing to worry about. But just in case, you should be on your guard.
 

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July 12, 2010

Teen Pregnancy & Abortion on the Rise Again

Parents and institutions of the United States spent a considerable amount of work, time and money on sexual education. So far it seem it’s working, since 1990, which was the peak of teen pregnancy and abortion rates amongst teens, the rate has been falling down considerably. And it has been so for more than 15 years. Since the statistics for that sort of thing can be seen with accuracy only for a few years back we have now seen the first increase in teen pregnancy and abortion, the stats from three years ago show that pregnancy and abortion are on the rise by 3%. Well, taken in consideration that in 1990 out of 1000 teens 117 got pregnant, we are still much below that as the rate is now 71.5 teens out of 1000.


It is too soon to make a significant statement about this rise, as it may be just one year out of many that have been proving that our sexual education system works. We will know more next year when the new stats come out. However, these stats made quite a stir among schools and churches, especially the fact that the abortion rate is on the rise. But my opinion is when pregnancy is on the rise, the abortion rates will also rise. As they failed to notice that the abortion rates rose proportionally with pregnancy rates, 3% pregnancy rise and 1% abortion rise, which is the same proportion we had in the last 15 years, approximately one abortion out of three teen pregnancies.

Since all of our states allow teen abortion the pressure is on the states that don’t require parent consent for their teens to go on with abortion. Statistics show that those states have a higher percentage of abortions amongst teens, while many states that implemented parent consent saw a great decrease in teen abortion rates.

What the statistics fail to mention in most news articles is that the increase did not happen in teenagers ages 15 to 17; the increase happened in teenagers ages 18 and 19. Yes it’s still young, but unlike 15 year olds that just started high school they have more chance of a normal life after pregnancy, whatever their choice may be.

Well, we can all hope that this was a one year rise and that next year we will see a normal decrease in teen pregnancy and abortion rates. Although teens can be hard to deal with sometimes we need to have faith in them, I do, and I believe that this was a one year anomaly that will go back to normal very soon.

 

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