Parenting Teens Blog

June 29, 2010

How Should Teenagers Deal With Divorce

Divorce of parents can be a sign of a great change for some, and since half the marriages in the US end in a divorce, we are talking about a big number of teens that have to deal with this issue. Basically half of the kids in the US have gone through a divorce of their parents and that makes it one of the most troubling issues we have right now. The fact that there are so many teens going through the same situation is not very helpful for them as they may feel like they are the only ones in the world with this problem. But, there are always ways for teens to cope with divorce of their parents and have a normal teen life.


A common situation when parents get a divorce is that teens think that they are to blame, that all of that is somehow their fault, but that has nothing to do with the truth. The reasons for divorce are many, but children are not among them. But that is hard to explain to an emotionally insecure teen. Many teenagers will think they could have done something to prevent it and if there was something they could have done that would make them change their mind. At that point teens heart starts dealing with hundreds of different emotions and that is when the teen problem about coping and dealing with divorce situation gets serious.

Today most of this can be avoided because parents know how to go through a divorce and live as less emotional trouble on their teen child as possible. There are ways to go through a divorce the so called “good way”. But in the end as parents might have a grieving process, so will the child. And here are a few things that will help a teenager deal with the divorce of his parents:

-    Future and what happens in it is one of the most important factors for a teenager. Most teens fear about their future and what will change because of the divorce. The best course of action is to sit down and openly talk with your parents about how their divorce influences you and your future and don’t put it off, the sooner you talk to them the better.
-    Dealing with stress is one of the hardest things in a divorce, for parents and for teens. The best thing you can do is find something that you love and concentrate on it for a certain part of the day so you would still have something to look forward to during the process. That little action, hobby or whatever will relieve your stress significantly.
-    As your parents are struggling with their new lives so should you, keeping a normal and healthy social life will help you go through the divorce much quicker.
-    Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support, there are plenty of kids going through the same thing as you and they can help you deal with the situation. Talking to others is always a good course of action.

Many teens go through a divorce, some don’t even feel it and some go through a hell of a rough time. The bottom line is that you will be amazed how strong and adaptive you may be in the end. Never lose sight of your goals and never turn down help that has been offered, as many before you, you will make it through this alive.

 

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June 24, 2010

Fighting Against Tic Disorder

Most of you have heard about Tourette’s syndrome or Tourette’s disorder, but did you know that Tourette’s syndrome is just one of the few Tic disorders. Yes, Tourette’s syndrome is a part of a greater disorder which is divided into groups depending on the symptoms. Tic disorder can be recognized in a person by persistent tics that come out of the blue without a warning, mostly movements and sounds that are uncontrolled and always seem out of context. The bright side of it is that those tics are painless and that in most cases children with Tic disorder will simply grow out of it and the problem will go away, but in some cases those tics continue over time and grow into a complex and severe disorder.


Child can be diagnosed with one of the four types of Tic disorders:

-    Transient tic disorder which consists of both physical and vocal tics that last between 4 and 12 months, but never more than 12 months.
-    Chronic tic disorder is characterized by either motor or vocal disorder that lasts over a year, but never both.
-    Tourette's disorder is characterized by both motor and vocal tics that last over a year.
-    Tic Disorder NOS is when a child has tics but they do not fall under any of the above mentioned Tic disorders.
Once a diagnosis is set you can begin treatment. Depending on the disorder and its severity there are several methods for treatment. There is a holistic approach to treatment where parents are involved and that sort of treatment may include:
-    Education of the family about the disorder
-    Direct observation methods in addition to diagnosis tests and self reports
-    Advanced assessment with child’s cognitive skills, motor skills, perception and behavior.
-    Making a healthy school environment
-    Therapy
-    Evaluation of the medication therapy is needed

The bottom line is you have two choices, therapy or medication. In most cases doctors and specialists will first recommend therapy, only in severe cases will medication be recommended from the start. Here is what you may expect of regular types of therapy:

-    Massed negative practice, this is the most used form of therapy and it consists of making the patient deliberately perform tic movements and sounds for a specific period of time. This method has shown a decrease in the frequency of tic movements, but long term benefits are still unclear.
-    Contingency management, this fall under behavior treatment. This type of treatment is rarely used as there is limited control over the therapy. The practice is that parents create such an environment so that the child gets praised and rewarded for not performing tics, but once a child is out of the house and in a new environment that may not be controlled.
-    Self monitoring is another form of therapy that raises child’s awareness. The child is carrying a wrist counter that records the number of tics and the child is to write them down in a notebook, this method can be very effective.
-    The most positive effect has the Habit reversal therapy; it consists of the previous methods described. The combination of awareness training, relaxation exercises and contingency management, the method has 64% to 100% success rate.

You should place all of your energy into these therapies as I assure you that you wouldn’t want your child to take medications. Some form of medication therapy even includes chewing on nicotine gums as they appear to reduce the number of tics, but most of these medications have side effects. You might also consider alternative therapies which have been growing in popularity.

 

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June 23, 2010

What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Some of you may have heard about BDD or Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is listed as somatization disorder but it bears close resemblance and has plenty of touching points with OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In most cases BDD is a preoccupation of one person with his or hers physical image, defect in appearance or even hair, body other and other related things. The person spends too much time focusing on those so called defects and this type of behavior affects that person’s life in a negative way.


The basic obsession of a person with BDD are his or hers facial features, odor and hair. This disorder usually begins in adolescence, so many of the teens you know or hang out with are potential victims. Body Dysmorphic Disorder almost always becomes chronic and it interferes with one’s life.

Most of the people with BDD fear of ridicule by others due to their defect. In many cases people will even go to specialists and plastic surgeons to ask for the defect to be changed. But even when the doctor agrees and makes those changes the BDD rarely stops, in some cases the disorder becomes even more severe.

There are a dozen of behavior types that are associated with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, most know are looking at the mirror too often or even other reflective surfaces, while in some cases people with BDD tend to avoid mirrors. Picking of skin, constantly touching and measuring the so called defect, always asking and talking about it and very detailed and elaborate rituals. Some even try to hide that defect, or they avoid situations where people may take a look at that defect and those kind of people almost always feel anxiety amongst other people.

So in some cases chronic BDD leads to social isolation which may incur a teen to drop out of school, we already mentioned unnecessary surgery, but in some heavy cases it can also involve suicide and suicide attempts. You may look at BDD as to OCD or even delusional disorder, in some cases BDD leads directly to depressive disorder.

As far as treatment goes that may be really tricky in some cases, most of the people with BDD won’t admit that they have a physiological problem as they are convinced of having a physical problem, defect. In most cases therapy involves medication while some may be solved with simple talk therapy, well, it’s not simple at all. For people that are in hiding from other, they should be encouraged to go out more and mingle, that will get their self esteem back up, but at those times they need to be under constant supervision as this method might backfire. In some cases family behavior treatment is useful, that is when the affected person is a teenager, support groups are an option too.

Whatever you do to help a person with BDD you need to be careful as in some cases, well in most cases, people with BDD develop paranoia. So whatever you do, be sure to consult with a specialist before attempting anything.
 

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June 19, 2010

Summer Jobs for Teens

Summer is here, and I know most of the kids are looking for a summer job, some because they want it and some because they need it. Whatever the case is this article may help you understand a few things about getting a job and working during the summer and how to find a good job. Most of you need to look for several criteria, type of job, hours, location and of course, the pay. You are less likely to find something that will suit every of your needs, but at least try to meet as many as you can.


Before you apply for any job opening, you first need to assess yourself. Are you good at anything, have you learned anything special in school, any work experience and that sort of thing. If you have a certain job in mind you should do everything in your power to get it, so ask around. Maybe parents or family members can help you, friends or even teachers, don’t be ashamed to ask.

If you don’t have a specific job in mind you should start reading ads, looking on the internet, there are plenty of summer jobs posted online. If you are not sure what is out there here is something that will give you ideas of where to look and what to expect for a summer job.

The most basic employer for the summer is your local merchant and your local store, small business and similar types of business. You can also go for the jobs at the mall. For those of you that live near a summer resort or the ocean the best place to look are resorts, hotels and restaurants. If you have a tourist attraction nearby you could try and get a job there. If you are aiming a little higher a job at the tennis club or even a golf club is surely a place any teen would like to work at. Summer camp jobs are always an option, or you can even try and work for yourself.
If you are asking how you can work for yourself the best place to give you a good idea is internet. There is plenty of freelancing work online, you can write, you can do data jobs or even programming, whatever suits you. You don’t have to be bound by the stereotype of babysitting.

You need to keep a few things in mind, no matter how cool your job is, even if you landed the dream job you always wanted, you will have to work and there will be bad days, but that is how things go. Always remember that you are making money, you are gaining valuable experience and you are making contacts, and that should be more than enough to get you through the bad days.

 

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June 18, 2010

Teen Teeth Trouble

Those three T’s aren’t popular among teenagers, nor should they be, but still they are used a lot. Teen teeth trouble is something that every generation struggles with. Of course, not everyone can have white sparkling teeth, genes play their role as well, but 90% of teeth health and oral hygiene is done by you at home. Not only by brushing your teeth or flossing, but also with careful choices of what you eat and what you drink.  Of course all of that has to be done with constant check ups at the dentist’s office, let’s go over the few basic rules of oral hygiene, after all its summertime and your parents might not be checking up on you as often as they should.


I know I am not keen to go to the dentist, which is why I do everything in my power to keep my teeth healthy. So the basics, brushing and flossing, the two most important things that will keep the cavities away. So here is the tip that you probably don’t know, whenever you brush your teeth be sure to brush areas near the salivary glands, they can be found the inside of the lower front teeth and the outside of the upper back teeth. Why, because many people have problems with tartar accumulating in their mouth and around their teeth and these glands are responsible for that. By stimulating them and keeping them healthy you will prevent that.

So now we have an upper hand on maintaining the health of your teeth, but now is the time to move on to prevention. The best form of prevention is watching what you eat and when you eat it. Everyone knows that sugar is the number one cause of decay, but it’s not just the sugar in general, when you eat it is also very important.
The first rule is to take a three hour break before eating sugar products, the acid they have will destroy your teeth. If you don’t give your teeth time to breathe they will suffer. The best time to eat sugary products is when you are eating something else, and never dare to eat sugar products before going to bed. Be sure to implement this tip, if you are in no position to brush your teeth after eating sugar products, you can wash your mouth off with water. That causes saliva to work its magic and prevent the acids from damaging your teeth as they would.

In the end the best advice for your teeth can be received from a dentist, so be sure to go for a regular checkup at your dentist’s office. You don’t want to be the guy in the class that no one wants to sit by because of your bad breath and bad teeth.
 

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